10-06-2003, 01:32 PM
Wow. I'm pregnant.

Sunny (who doesn't think that she has said that yet. I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant!)

10-10-2003, 11:53 AM
OMG! I slipped in first hour today and told a small group of girls that I am pregnant. Then I realized it and was all freaked out. So, now I have to tell the administration. How does one tell the administration something like this? Eeek!

It seems entirely too soon to burden anyone with this fact, but now that I slipped, I really should, before it makes its way through the rumor mill.

*sigh*

(I accidentally told a few of the first hour girls because one of them made a comment that I was either hung over or pregnant, and then asked me how much I had to drink last night. And I said "What? Nothing! I'm not hung over!" which, of course, is what I would have said even if I *had* been hung over, and then she said, "so you're pregnant" and I started to say "of course not" but I was grinning and she was all "You are! Congratulations" and then I wasn't going to deny it...)

Students knowing is very fun. One of the frosh boys gave me lemon Jolly Ranchers so I wouldn't puke.

Sunny (who hasn't even seen a copy of the master contract yet)

10-13-2003
felt crappy last night. mostly from not eating and sleeping properly, plus the mental element of knowing I am pg.

But I am hopeless--it's like my brain has stopped functioning. I couldn't remember student names this morning, I'm forgetful about everything and I have always really relied on my memory; I am not one for lots of reminder items like datebooks and planners and such. I mean, I adore them, but I don't *need* them. Now I need them and find I have no real system for ensuring that I remember to use them.

Ugh. Just put banana bread in the oven.

Was going to make super healthy, calcium enriched, etc. banana bread. But after mashing the bananas just about killed me, I decided that the chances of me actually consuming anything that smells even vaguely like bananas (which I hate in the first place) are so slim that I might as well make the good Joy of Cooking kind. I was going to add chocolate chips for my dear, sweet, chocolate obsessed husband, but then I thought that I should at least keep up the illusion that I might eat a piece, and refrained.

So now it is baking and my whole house smells like bananas, which makes me want to sob uncontrollably, and I am hiding in the basement.

Sunny (who is also researching medical professionals)

10-22-2003, 01:25 PM
Miserable this morning but a little better now. Yay preggie pops. Mostly now it is just the tired pouring down on me. Cannot hardly make the effort to breath, let alone open my eyes again after I blink.

This morning, in a bout of nausea, I ridiculed the "baby think it over" dolls that the Family Life class is carrying around. My rampage went something like this:

Baby think it over? Does that mean they are trying to talk you out of getting pregnant in high school? Like that is the *number one goal* of high school girls-- gee, I think I will get knocked up today? I really want a squalling baby? Sheesh. Besides, if they *really* wanted you to think it over, screw the crying baby doll. They would give you a drug that made you feel like throwing up and falling asleep in it and make you take it every day for about three months. That would pretty much take care of sex. You'd never have sex again. Seriously. Baby think it over. Phffft.

Yeah, I'm a freak. I need a vacation.

Sunny (who is being observed tomorrow)

11-09-2003, 10:48 AM
So, first measurements:
Waist: 27 inches
Navel: 31.5 inches

And for good measure: weight: 144.5 lbs

Sunny (who is due 7 months from today!)


11-12-2003
Hey, ten weeks today
one quarter of the way there!
small babe weighs 4 grams

Sunny (who loves haiku day)

11-18-2003
this morning, halfway to work, I suddenly thought "I'm going to have a baby!" It was just such a shocking thought!

The first couple weeks I kept thinking "OMG, I'm PREGNANT" but not really "I'm going to have a baby" Apparently that took a bit to sink in!

11-24-2003, 06:37 PM
Heart rate was between 158-164. K was excited. I cried when I first heard it, but then I said "I'm going to cry" and talking moved by belly and she had to find it again, and so then I didn't cry much. Wow.

I can't believe how touching it is to hear that little heart.

Sunny (whose own heart did little cartwheels)

11-29-2003, 01:59 PM
Nursery is SOOO far from being cleaned out, but at least I *started* Feels good to have started. Btw, Kelly has started to refer to the babe as the Sprout. Tee hee. Yay for frozen veggies. Much prefer this to the early in the week name-- "the creature"

Sunny (and the Sproutling)

12-03-2003, 11:54 AM
It's weird for me right now because I am basically symptomless, not really showing yet, and have completely adjusted to the food changes so I don't have to think about it anymore, so I don't feel particularly pregnant at the moment. I felt very, very pregnant when I was sick and exhausted, and I imagine I'll feel very, very pregnant when I am showing and can feel the baby, but right now is a bizzare neutral time.

12-08-2003, 11:34 AM
pregnancy fog is thick in my brain. Last night I was so stressed out that I honestly thought I would lose it. I forgot I had clothing in the washing machine, I forgot I still needed to shower, I forgot that my game needed to be adapted for my ERVING class, I forgot to pay bills... I was just a wreck. I don't know how I managed to sleep, but I eventually did. I was just a big stressball and it wasn't good. Must try to keep up and relax a bit.

The thing that is weird is that I just totally forget things. They don't sit in the back of my mind making me uncomfortable. I just completely forget them. So I do relax, while it is all forgotten, but then it will suddenly occur to me and I freak out. Bleck. Have to come up with a system of not forgetting.

Sunny (who is used to relying on her brain, which has never failed her before)

12-15-2003, 11:54 AM
Have I been whining that my hips hurt? because my hips hurtttttt. they hurts so constantly and throughly that I am convinced I have whined about them in every post, but I don't see any on this page, so I am going to whine about them now. WHIIIIIIIIINNNNEEE.

12-16-2003
I feel so guilty. here i am, as far as i know experiencing a perfectly healthy pregnancy, and i don't deserve it in the least, while all around me, wonderful women are struggling with infertility, miscarriages, etc. i didn't have to hope and pray and wait and plan for this pregnancy. it just happened. granted, i manipulated its occurance in a small way, but even that makes me feel guilty, because i thrust fatherhood upon my husband, who was none too eager, while around me are men would give their left arm to be a daddy.

so, with practically no foresight, i get knocked up, and stay knocked up. i barely even have morning sickness. i use it as an excuse to do my job poorly. despite being a nearly perfect eater for the past 11 months, i start eating like crap. but despite my lousy commute, hot baths, and poor diet, i remain perfectly pregnant.

and then i have the gall to whine about not being able to to take ibprofen because my head and my hips ache. i have the nerve to feel sorry for myself because i won't be able to drink on new years eve. i have to audacity to be annoyed that with a baby coming in june, K and i will never be able to take one last vacation before we are parents.

i don't even know that i will have a job with health insurance next year. i can barely pay the bills, yet i buy a ridiculously extravagent birthday/krismis present for K. i haven't been able to keep my house clean for longer than a week in the last three years. i have no business being anyone's mother. but yet, here i am, pregnant.

its just not fair.

sun (who realizes that life is not fair and is glad of it, but still feels guilty)

12-17-2003, 07:47 AM
and last night either morning sickness came back, or I have a virus, because *everything* has started making me nauseated. Apparently, that's what I get for complaining about my easy pregnancy. I swear to never be an ungrateful bitch again. In the meantime, I'm sucking on preggie pops and hoping none of my students have a scent.

Sun (who has also declared this casual Wednesday and came to work in jeans)

12-23-2003, 12:55 PM
wonderful day! been just partying away with my students. had a bunch in for lunch, we ordered pizzas. just an all around good day so far. think that after today I will not have to worry about being "below the curve" in weight gain anymore. feel like I ate several horses.

cannot believe that as of tomorrow, I will be four months pregnant. eek. as soon as next week, i could feel the baby move. seems impossible. it's starting to really set in that i am going to have a child. not just a baby, which is semi-plausible, but a child. am a bit frightened by the prospect. it is one thing to be poor and childless, it is quite another when there is a little person depending on you. it's different than when I was young-- back then, nearly everyone's parents were poor when they had little ones.

oh well. at least i will be a good parent, in the discipline and loving sense, even if i can't do much in the way of material goods. that will get me by for a few years anyway.

Sun. who is very much going to miss her fifth hour students next semester.

01-06-2004, 07:06 PM
just felt something I am nearly positive is Sprout. but, still, could be wrong. When do you know for sure? When you can see the outline of little toes as they kick you?
Sun.

01-20-2004, 07:52 AM
We have decided how to do our nursery. Oddly enough, I am going against years of planning and painting it after a whim (provided my mom will pay for said whim). There is this Cezanne painting that Kelly loves (and I like as well) from LACMA that I was going to have reproduced for his birthday. I didn't end up doing that. Then, I had this random thought that it would be cool to do the nursery as this Cezanne. Kelly loved the idea. So, that's what we are doing.

The way I picture it, the painter will need to interpret the painting a little bit in order to put it on all the walls, but it's basically a reproduction. We would also like for it to extend into the ceiling and for a sky to be put behind it; this is where the majority of interp will come in.

Have been hearing about other people's mat leave and am jealous. I would kill for thirteen weeks at 60%. Except, in all honesty, I still wouldn't take it. I just couldn't leave my AP kids high and dry like that. Originally, my main reason for not wanting to take leave pre-AP test was because of how it would look to the administration, but at this point, I don't think that there is ANYTHING I could do to impress the administration. Now, it's more that I have a loyalty to the kids.

Heard on the radio yesterday that a woman in Michigan had sextuplets and it took her TEN days. So, they don't have the same birthday or anything. How strange is that?

Sun. who better not being having sextuplets

01-22-2004, 07:56 AM
I'm not scared of taking care of a baby, or of giving birth, or any of that (at least, not right now). But I am freaked out by how little time there is to get ready. You may not believe this, but I am a bit of a control freak. I am going to have a nervous break down if the nursery isn't painted by the end of March. I am freaking out about financial stuff because even though I am the queen of "a baby is only as expensive as you choose to make it" I can't seem to convince myself that the cheap route would be acceptable for me. Part of it is that my mom is willing to pay for some things, like painting the nursery, and so when I look at the contrast between the things she can give my baby and the things I can give it just makes me panic.

I need to remember, however, that there will be baby showers, and that I don't really need anything before the baby is born save diapers and a carseat. Honestly, if I had *nothing* else, I would be fine. And, concievably, I could send K out to buy diapers after I gave birth. So, I should just calm down. It's just that until now, I didn't really face the fact that there would be no "block of time" for me to spend preparing. Before Christmas, I thought I could get a lot done over winter break, but then I had the flu. I am just coming to terms with the fact that we don't get a spring break, so there is no block of time in April. And now, I'm facing the reality of little to no "prebirth" maternity leave, so there isn't even the last minute. Eek.

But, that's enough panicking for one morning. Have to tell you the funny thing-- this morning I got up and picked out an outfit and took it into the bathroom to put on after I was clean, and when I put it on, NOTHING fit. The pants wouldn't zip up, the shirt wouldn't button, even the cami was too short to cover my belly. I am officially huge. So I had to wear my jeans, because it was all I had to fit me.

I told K that the rate of growth of my belly had outstripped the rate of growth of my wardrobe, and nothing in the history of the world has ever outstripped the rate of growth of my wardrobe. He laughed. Then I conceded: well, if my rate of doing laundry increased, I might find that my belly isn't larger than my wardrobe after all. He said that "everything outstrips your rate of doing laundry. EVOLUTION is occuring at a faster pace than you do laundry." It's funny, 'cuz it's true.

Sun. who needs to go dig up paper for her freshman before it's too late.


01-23-2004, 10:12 PM (after talking to Kate about being worried about not getting enough "stuff" for the Sprout) I never imagined myself to be freaked out about lack of baby stuff, as I am not a big "you need stuff for babies" person. Quite the opposite in fact. I think my freaking out centers more on not feeling as if I have time to prepare for having my entire life changed, and I am projecting it onto material things to protect myself. I am NOT a laid back person, despite what my boss seems to think; in reality I am a total control freak who works very hard at giving the impression that things just happen. But I really just need some totally *me* time to focus on *me* and make the mental adjustments. I need enough free time to not be able to stay busy and be forced to just acknowledge myself and sort through it all.

Damn. Thanks a lot, Kate. Now I'm going to have a total breakdown

01-29-2004 Thought: This is one the rare times that I am not actively anticipating another time. Does that make sense? I am content to be when I am. Of course, I am waiting for the end of the day, for the weekend, that sort of thing, but I am not thinking "if I can just get to [summer vacation, the end of the semester, March, etc.], everything will be fine" or "I will be happy when this thing changes" or whatever.

How odd. I always thought I would be content at five months pregnant, and here I am, content. Hm.

Sunny (who would definitely be thinking about summer vakay if she weren't pregnant)

02-22-2004, 09:28 AM
Actually slept last night. Had a weird dream in which I was on maternity leave and had Mickey and Andrew over for lunch. Andrew was, like, 4 years old. And I was freaking out. Mickey was all "well, they do grow up fast" and I burst into tears and declared I was going to stay at home for the first year, finances be damned.

Had other weird dreams though, so I am not going to read to much into it.

Sunny (who was just relieved to wake up a girl)

03-13-2004, 05:13 PM
am on second bag of mini eggs. actually think they are better than nearly all other forms of chocolate. completely delightful. am v. grateful that they are not available year round.

fell down flight of stairs at forensics meet this morning. gak. as far as I can tell, i caught my sweater on the edge of the railing and just overcompensated with poor balance due to new pg center of gravity. banged up my right leg and really hurt my right thumb, as instinct to stay upright overrode common sense and I gripped onto the railing with all my might, sliding on my one leg until finally thumb caught where railing was attached to wall at bottom of stairs. hurt a great deal and scared the hell out of me and about 200 other people. apparently, majority of onlookers thought that I passed out, and everyone asked me for the rest of the day if I was "feeling better." just mortified, thanks. bruised a bit and thumb is out of joint, but not broken and seemingly not badly sprained. hurts, though. gak, just felt so stupid and irresponsible, though could have happened to anyone, really. just have never tripped on stairs before in entire life. took elevator rest of day.

I didn't hit anywhere but my legs. Moron that I am, it did not occur to me that the best way to *stop falling* would have been to simply sit on my ass. felt like the cliche of movie miscarriages, though.

nursery looks lovely. k took photos, which I will upload when I get home. am beginning to just feel anxious to see it done. at first was all caught up in excitement of seeing it progress, but now just wish it could all be done by the end of the weekend. ha. am naturally impatient.

Sun. who can hear the cat crying to come in.

03-16-2004, 11:24 AM
ha. can currently feel parts of baby through stomach. amusing.

03-16-2004, 04:27 PM
People are always asking to see ultrasound photos and I feel like a Bad Mother for not having any.

Think it must be much harder to not find out the sex if one is having ultrasounds, though.


03-16-2004, 06:35 PM
Robyn, lovely, lovely, wonderful Robyn! Arrived home to find package of completely usable maternity clothing that is comfy and looks good. Hurrah! Is bestest most wonderful person in the world! Am currently wearing Old Navy jeans and loving her.

03-31-2004, 08:57 PM
K gets the award this week. On Monday night, when I had that headache, he stayed up with me giving me massages and just generally being wonderful, and tonight he went out to get cat food but came home with tirimisu from local italian restaurant.

I think I will keep him after all.

Sunny (who is feeling v. loved and wonderful at the moment)

04-01-2004, 10:58 AM
Weight has skyrocketed above 170. Ack.

Oh, DJ dress came in yesterday! Hurrah! Fits snuggly across the chest, but I am glad because that means it will stay up. I only hope that it *doesn't* mean I will eventually start leaking in it. When I tried it on, K laughed and said "you are so bulbous." Oh well. You can't win them all.

was v. nervous about the dress not fitting. as it is, it is too long in the body (not surprising, as everything is too long in the body on me) so it doesn't lay perfectly in the back, but it will do. I can't believe I will likely be wearing it *7* times before I give birth. Wow. Not to mention that I might still be wearing it after I give birth for a bit. Puts the price (which was relatively low for a spec oc dress anyway) into perspective.

Sunny (who is wearing cute skirt today and getting many compliments)

04-05-2004, 11:12 AM
all maternity shirts are too short to be worn with low cut (underbelly) style pants. cannot figure out how same designers make both the shirts and the pants and yet are clueless about this. the only way around it seems to be buying a shirt that is too big all over in order to get the length, which I will not do.

the only reason I would never have a homebirth is because then i would have to clean my house. i don't mean afterwards. i mean before.

also, funny from class, they were talking about lining up support for after the baby is born, and how first time moms often think that they should be able to be superwomen, cleaning the house and doing all the laundry, etc, and how we have to learn to just let that go. I looked at K and said "don't worry, I learned to do that years ago"

Honestly, if nesting doesn't kick in soon, i will be embarrassed to let anyone come in and help me out. it's not like I would notice if the house wasn't cleaned for a month anyway; i'm so used to only cleaning once a month by now.

04-13-2004, 03:13 PM
i wonder why they don't make dark chocolate mnms.

sunny (whose mind is all over the place today)

04-14-2004, 11:27 AM
response to Kate teasing me about the "are you sure you aren't having twins" comments:
yes. so huge, in fact, that we will have to have c-sections, but not until after they try to speed things up with pitocin and fail. because that is what we get for thinking we want to go natural. *and* our kids will be brats to make up for having an opinion on nonviolent childrearing, not to mention that, in my case, everyone will laugh when I have a boy.

and YES, i can feel it kicking, and NO i'm not going to find out the sex "just for you" so you can buy me a gift. and NO the goddamn nursery isn't finished.

04-14-2004, 7:59 PM (writing to Kate)
Quote:
"-Fear of c-section. Fear that by having fear of c-section, will make fear come true.
-If overdue, fear of induction. (see above)"

me, too. and, complete annoyance over the fact that I cannot seem to seperate the idea that I can positively influence my labour from the fact that I can negatively influence my labour. All this women's power crap is great in the beginning, when you think "look how great I can make this experience" and sucks donkey balls at the end when you start thinking "fuck, that means I can *screw it up* too." also, really do not trust ANYONE at this point enough that I would believe them if they said I needed to be induced, though I do trust my midwives about c-sections, more or less. But the whole induction thing to me seems consistantly foolish and inappropriate to more or less every situation and I can't get my brain around it, so it really bothers me. Like, if my midwife says I need to be induced, I can't imagine her being able to convince me with facts to feel good about it. this does not mean that i judge women who are induced (well, okay, i do judge women who request inductions. i try not to, but i do if i am perfectly honest). it does mean that i judge medical professionals who use pitocin with any sort of regularity and while my midwife keeps telling me how happy she is with me for being so adamantly against induction i am somehow not reassured that this means she understands how strongly i feel about it or that she won't try to convince me later.

Quote:
"-Fear that if I have a home birth and something *god forbid* goes wrong, that I will always feel guilty and wish I had gone to the hospital and won't be able to forgive myself. "

I feel guilty for not having a home birth for the purely selfish reason that I don't want to prepare my house for having people in my house. that and the whole insurance not covering it thing. because the last fucking place i wanted to give birth was in a hospital, and I totally caved on it. i feel like a sell out. the "you will feel guilty forever" concept is how K talked me out of birthing outdoors. (remember when I was completely sold on that? before I was actually pregnant). guilt pisses me off especially when it is used as a weapon. agree with your Do's thought about keeping hospital option open to feel comfortable and that the reality is you will probably give birth at home, too. homebirth is completely right for you from everything you have said and it's natural that you'd worry about it because it isn't normative and people are judgemental, but fuck 'em all. i know you know all the facts so i won't talk about facts, just emotions. truthfully, if babe were to be born at the hospital and something were to go wrong you'd still find a way to feel guilty about it. guilt is sneaky like that.

labouring at home; yes. my fear is that i will stay home too long and then transition to hospital will be huge mess (literally and figuratively) or conversely that i won't stay home long enough and bing bang boom they will flood me with epidurals and ivs and pit despite everything. even though i trust that this won't happen intellectually, emotionally i don't trust it at all. am pissed off that the "natural-est" option for birth plan is "don't give me drugs unless i ask" rather than "don't give me drugs. even if i ask. i state this now while I am lucid and should not be listened to in the grasp of the possible insanity that may occur during labour." feeling better about this after today's appointment, too, but still is a factor.

Quote:
"Oh, and the hospital tour - depressing. The vast majority of the l&d rooms are tiny, windowless and horrible, and only 1 has a tub. The rest have showers only. And they transfer you to a post partum room afterwards so there is no staying in the same room. The private rooms are crap. There is a fancy birthing centre, but only 1 in 12 women get to birth in there. Low odds. But the final straw: they won't let you eat or drink once you're in active labour. Don't agree with that AT ALL. "

see, this was our old hospital, a scary, institutional place that i would never have given birth anywhere near. then they built two new hospitals, and you have heard about the glory that is my hospital of choice. it's really nice, which is why i feel semi okay about the "homebirth in a hospital" i've been promised. the odds are too low for your place. i am a little concerned, though, that the birthing center at my hospital will fill up and then what will they do with me? they have been at capacity already and they have only been open a few months. i personally know two other women with the same due date delievering at my hospital. if they run out of birthing center rooms, I will not go to regular hospital room. I won't. I refuse. I don't know what good it will do me to refuse, but I refuse. (see how irrational i am already?) it is not part of the agreement.

i don't know yet if I will want to eat while in labour, but if i want to, no one better stop me. i do know I will want to drink water. i don't ever go more than a half hour without drinking water unless i'm asleep. and really, how are they going to stop me from eating or drinking? post a fucking guard? (I am assuming that i can eat or drink because it was mentioned when i asked about vomiting; she said that it was unaffected by eating and drinking but that most people stopped wanting to eat or drink at the transition point either way; she phrased it as a patient desire not as a policy so i assume it is not a policy? should ask).

The whole topic of birthing is one i am alternately obsessed with and completely willing to ignore. Part of me thinks "this is natural, you can do it, don't expend unnecessary energy on the unknown" and part of me thinks "you are going to manage to fuck this up if you don't get a handle on it immediately and everyone is going to laugh at you for thinking you could do it"

as much as I want to be a sister, most of the time women so suck. am v. glad i have you all to balance out real life, where most women are catty bitches.

Sunny (who really did have a lot to say).


04-14-2004, 08:32 PM
realization: i will give birth in the next ten weeks.
realization: i have no control over when in the next ten weeks this will happen.
realization: i have planned my maternity leave to start may 17th with firm belief that this gives me *weeks* off before i actually give birth, but in reality i could give birth on the 18th and no one would stop me.
realization: i don't want to give birth between the 28 of may and the 12 of june, which is when, odds are, i will give birth.
realization: i have to have lesson plans prepared for the entire time i am gone. have not chosen eager "just out of university" sub who will want academic freedom, but rather experienced retired teacher who would rather i did the work.
realization: i will be contacted by the long term sub while on maternity leave; my job will not go away simply because i stop going to the building.
realization: birth is going to hurt.
realization: i'm going to be a parent. pregnancy will end and for the rest of my life, i will have an entirely different role to play.
realization: it's 8:30 and i have spent so much time preoccupied by pregnancy and birthing that i have not taken care of any of my actual responsibilities, nor have i had dinner or done any exercises.

may just go to bed instead.

04-19-2004, 09:06 PM
K was completely cracking up when they talked about a lack of modesty indicating true labour/transition, because I have no modesty and I never wear clothing in the house unless I have to (or, at least, not full clothing that covers my whole body). in the example, the woman had been in the bathtub and got out and didn't want to put clothes on and the husband took this as a sign of serious labour and decided it was time to take her to the hospital, and Kelly just cracked up. he said that if that was the only clue he was getting, I'd give birth in the hallway.

Sprout is liquid today! She's just squirming everywhere and feels like a bunch of slimy pokey bones (aren't I so romantic?). I don't know how she got unwedged from her position of the past few weeks, but she is fully mobile and just getting me everywhere with every knee and elbow. Kelly took a picture of the cat investigating my belly, it was moving so much.

okay, am off to bed. love to you all.

Sunny (who was going to take a bath but is just too tired)

04-21-2004, 07:44 AM
k makes shamu jokes when i'm trying to get out of the bathtub. right about now, a hoist sounds wonderful; i'm not even insulted anymore.

Kelly called me a sumo wrestler last night when I was getting out of the tub. Bastard. lol

04-26-2004, 03:35 PM
okay, sproutling will not chill out. it's really unbelievable. decidedly uncomfortable and scary to watch, even through two layers of clothing. I don't know what I did, but if i figure it out, i am never doing it again. little freak.

stop stop stop! there has to be at least three puppies in there, i swear.

day went so fast. i feel like I will never catch up. I will, though. I have to.

off to finish writing ws exam.

05-05-2004, 11:19 AM
in baby related news, I discovered last night that my belly has a flat spot! it's no longer round. I am shaped exactly like my car, with a less curved spot in the middle right above my belly button. which, incidentally, is no longer the center of my belly at all, but distinctly in the bottom half. is just odd.

05-06-2004, 11:17 AM
But you know what made my day? Completely made it? Tomorrow is-- get this-- "drive your tractor to school" day.

Seriously.

I sat on the floor of my first hour class and cried I was laughing so hard. Must remember my camera.

05-07-2004, 11:18 AM
Took some photos of "drive your tractor to school day" OMG. Freakin' hilarious. Must post later. Also, wore my capri bibs and my hair in braids in honour of said day. Dept head cracked up when he saw me.

missing my ankles. was really hoping to avoid the "no ankles" aspect of pregnancy. ah, well.

am basically set for world studies, but must pick and secure movies for AP psych. have a bunch of thoughts but nothing solid. thinking that I need four movies, and have a list of about twenty in my brain. just have to settle it, write questions, etc.

am almost really actually ready for maternity leave. wow. once I'm not working anymore, there is nothing between me and having this baby. yikes.
Sunny (who really and truly looks as if she is about to explode)

05-07-2004, 11:58 PM
cloth diapers as long as I am home. even without a service, it still seems easier than having to buy disposables. will have some disposables for when the sitution calls for it, of course, like sending Sprout to my mom for the evening. how many diapers do I need to buy? suggestions? I probably should be getting on this.

Really going to bed now.

05-10-2004, 10:53 AM
Last night, K got out our carry on bags for me to pack as hospital bags. They are sitting at the end of the bed, waiting to be filled. Ack.

oh! and felt hiccoughs for the first time yesterday evening! was so excited. everyone else in the world has felt hiccoughs and I was starting to think I just wasn't recognizing it. but it was *very* obvious after like three that this was a different kind of movement, and I made K come over and feel it too. He didn't understand why it made me so happy.

05-11-2004, 11:48 AM
ppbbth! no. i don't wish the pregnancy could be over. i still love being pregnant. i don't like my feet. my hand work themselves out when I use them (and what's more, my hands used to hurt a lot more before I was pg) but my feet really have to be put up for about an hour for every two hours they are down. I wish *work* could be over, but am still digging the whole growing a person thing.

original plan was for tomorrow to be my last day, but I decided to stick out the week. am a little regretful about that now.

still want sugar. hmph. don't even have any juice in my fridge.

05-16-2004, 12:18 PM
I've loved being pregnant. I don't want to give it up. I mean, I haven't loved everything about it (sciatica comes to mind, as well as my current swelling, and the early nausea) but overall I'd do it again.

05-19-2004, 12:42 PM
went with three of the newborn covers and 36 prefolds. 5 of the small covers without the notch. also ordered 5 doublers, a dozen wipes and a container of a soaking/washing solution, though I don't forsee myself reordering the solution, just thought it would be a good way to start and since I was placing an order anyway, what's 6 more dollars?

*sigh* now to tell Kelly that I committed to this. I think he was hoping that I wouldn't get around to making a decision before the baby was born, and then we would just do disposables by default. Not that he cares one way or the other as long as I do the laundry, but we both know that I won't do all of the laundry.

05-19-2004, 04:08 PM
just ordered the nursing stool I wanted. needed to do it before I paid bills or I wouldn't have ordered it. and really, I *need* a nursing stool, right?

Sunny (who has a bad case of the needs today)

05-19-2004, 04:16 PM
I will make the announcements, but someone else will have to address the envelopes.

feet are still huge and flintstonish. will be very useful if my car ever breaks down and I need to cut a hole in the bottom and run to my destination. midwife J is "watching" me for preeclampsia though midwife L didn't mention it. she kept telling me to drink water and K kept laughing at her. want to go swimming. big paddle feet would be useful in the water, I think.

05-20-2004, 02:25 PM
our furniture, which was supposed to ship May 17, is now delayed to June 17th. excellent. they are willing to give us a loaner crib and dresser, but I am feeling cranky and stubborn and really do not want a loaner. I don't want to get the dresser all full of little clothes and then have to unpack it and pack the new dresser. I don't want people to see our nursery with the loaner furniture and think of it that way. If it were entirely up to me, I would just wait for our furniture and if we have the baby before it comes (likely) I would just deal with not having it. I know that K will disagree, though, and he's probably right. At the very least, I will want a changing table... Plus, I hate the idea of getting *nothing* for my trouble-- at least if I take the loaner furniture I am putting them out, too. Not that it is at all their fault-- the company is behind, not the store, but I still want SOMETHING for my trouble.

even if it is more trouble?

Stupid useless frustrating day. Is no point in going scrapbooking now. Guess I'll be doing it next week. Am totally dreading this weekend and just want someone else to do it for me. But the money will be good. I have to keep reminding myself about the money.

Sunny (who hopes that tonight will be movie and popcorn night)

05-23-2004, 08:57 PM
last bradley class is over. guess we are all ready to give birth now, eh?

not lingering long; the office is wet and we have a billion mile per hour winds in here with the fans all going. and guess what? storming again!

Sunny (who is trying to talk her husband into calling in sick tomorrow)

05-25-2004, 11:20 AM
speaking of bathroom breaks-- I got up 6 times in 5 hours last night. Sheesh.

05-28-2004, 01:44 PM
okay, it's official. I bought too many diapers. I've been folding diapers and it's just insane. it doesn't look like much all flat and fitted together, but it was two full loads and I have no idea where I am going to store all of them, now that they are folded and take up my entire laundry room. Of course, I did order full sized diapers in addition to newborn ones, but still. Have ridiculous amount of diapers. Need to buy storage container of some sort. or else bureau, when it finally arrives, will only be holding diapers.

05-28-2004, 02:34 PM
for right now, diapers are stored in the loaner changing table, which is great. but that's not what I want to use my entire bureau for. I think that the roll-y thing that currently has the baby clothing in it will become extra diaper storage when the bureau comes, and I will keep it in the laundry room, as per excellent suggestion by Heather. Why keep it all in Sprout's room? That way, when I bring down a load of dirty diapers, I can bring up a load of clean ones, and when the dirty ones are clean, I can just put them away in the laundry room. Most excellent system.

I think I like the idea of K and I just settling in to ourselves while K has time off. Otherwise, our adjustment period would have to come when he was working; I like the idea of him having a chance to get used to helping me when I won't feel guilty asking for help.

05-29-2004, 01:11 AM
I'm back from DJing. K wasn't letting me take anything down so I eventually just left. I felt guilty as hell leaving, though. And even though I didn't lift anything, I still had contrax in the car on the way home. Only 4, though, and pretty mild. After the last few shows I've had them for an hour or more, so lifting makes a difference.

Was starving when I got home so I had some crackers and strawberry lemonade; now Sprout is kicking like nuts. Guess I might as well wait up for Kelly.

Sunny (who has no idea how long it will take him to tear down alone)

05-29-2004, 02:32 PM
total time with tech support in past 24 hours: 92+97+78 = (ouch, math) 267 minutes. cannot divide that by 60 in my head.

but, now we have a functioning XP desktop and a cd burner. (but, we lost our regular cd rom drive somewhere along the way. am choosing to ignore that).

must go get some lunch.

05-30-2004, 11:02 PM
I don't actually have a changing table coming; a bureau instead. Love this changing table though and am not going to want to let it go, except for the colour being too close to the colour of our floor which is design no no.

I know exactly what you mean-- I am not psychologically/emotionally ready to let go of being pregnant yet. I am starting to mourn the idea of not being pregnant anymore, though, and accept that it has to happen. I was angry at the world yesterday; just pissed at everything and everyone for no reason whatsoever and I was so frustrated with being pregnant and awkward and achy and everything being hard that I thought maybe I was coming out of it, but by the end of the day I was feeling all lovey fondness of my pregnant self again, so no dice.